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I have a few friends who live in Sun City and Sun City West, and they like it. Clearly, these communities are great solutions for some. I actually considered moving there. I live in Chandler, on the other side of the Phoenix metro area. Others, particularly in the southeast, are gated communities that are more remote and therefore more insular.

Hi Dave, I retired a year ago and am happy in my post-work life, but I am a people-lover with many friends and am far more extroverted than my husband, who has a tight but very small group of friends, has little interest in establishing any new friendships, and is happiest only venturing out around other people occasionally.

Few of my friends live close by, we are childless, and I find myself longing for a tighter community to live within, preferably one containing some of my favorite friends. If you know of any viable plans like these that I could learn from, I would be most appreciative.

Thanks much. People build connections and help each other out with things like chores, driving to appointments, checking in on each other, etc. I mean some of these people that wrote here, ARE EXACTLY PART OF THE PROBLEM, if all they notice is gossiping, mischievous atmosphere, politically loaded conversations, etc.

No offense, but that means THEY WERE PART OF IT. I mean, what do you care? You have your own backyard, kitchen, bedroom,separation. You ARE NOT confined to that community. There is no curfew. You can jump at anytime in your car and drive to any cool pkace in Phoenix or Scottsdale or Sedona or drive to Palm Springs, or whatever.

Nobody stops you, novody forces you to be part of anything. People that complain about the bullying and gossiping might be just weak individuals, lacking self esteem,in look for self validation.

The only difference in tbose communities is that you have access to amenities and places where you can actually SEE AND MEET someone from your proximity, someone relatively close in age and interests.

They might be on your liking or not, if they are you click, if they are jot just move to a different pool chair or bar stool. You can buy tickets at a Broadway show and I cannot? You can go at dinner at The Phoenician and I cannot? Where you see other people that are doing the same thing, whom you have a minimal interaction with, and you all go back to your isolated homes at the end of the day.

While in a retirement community AT LEAST YOU HAVE A CHANCE, of hanging out with more people, making more connections, making more friends.

You make a lot of good points here. Sometimes people are part of their own problems. This article and the reviews are right on. Several years ago when I was 60, I moved to one of those senior apartment buildings.

I live alone, my husband has to live in a facility because of a severe TBI. I thought I would try it. They had one or two nice staff, otherwise the staff and management were disrespectful, bullies and ageists. I had to avoid them as much as possible.

I had to use a lock on the inside of my door to protect my privacy. Complaining and threatening to call the police made little difference.

It stopped for awhile, only to start again later. From the first few weeks I lived there I felt like I was back in junior high school, complete with the cliques, gossips who love spreading rumors and just rude, childish people who hung out in the halls and the lobby.

The more mature, kinder people avoided the lobby. One resident told me how hard it was for her to walk past them. It was difficult to make friends.

You lose the ability to trust people. I actually had 2 women residents stalk and harass me. After a few years the owners refused to renew leases, forcing residents to sign a service agreement for assisted living, divulge their finances and accept a huge raise in their rent or move out.

A lot of residents left, including me. Why would independent people want to live in assisted living?! I will never go to one of those horrible places again. They claim these senior living places are good for mental health.

I think the owners of some of these places want that to happen. I think living with diversity is so much healthier mentally. Thanks for sharing your experience.

I completely agree Linda. I live in a homeownership community near the Villages in Florida. The area is lacking in amenities, health care, infrastructure and transportation.

I have to drive and drive miles to everything here. The people in the communities which is very large are primarily what you expect. White conservative couples, widows and widowers. A rather churchy type population to an extent. It seems many of the singles seem to be overly interested in hooking up.

The ambulances are in and out all day long taking these retirees to the ER. I feel like a fish out of water here there is no diversity of people, mindsets and on and on. The rents in the USA are outrageous and much more than my mortgage.

So its like I hate to say it. Im rather Stuck in Florida. That is until the homeowners insurance problems here literally price me out of living here, which is probably going to happen soon. High school again, with the cliques and gossip!! We live in Jubilee outside of Olympia, Wa.

and they promised so many things as far as mental stimulation, etc… We, like you, feel we have aged tremendously living here has been very hard on our mental health and our marriage.

getting another convertible and taking beautiful drives down the Pacific coast for lunch, and more.. let the fun begin.!!.. These comments were very enlightening.

I have thought about these communities as I am in my seventies and alone,no family for miles. I have had my suspicions about them and after reading these comments will not be moving into one. I too like my privacy,diversity and having younger people around.

The other problem is it seems most of them are in the middle of nowhere,leaving a person with little choice but their activities. I like having a large variety of things nearby. Will just stay in my home until I run out of money to maintain it then probably move to an apt.

in a city. Good luck! People are healthier and living longer. The fact remains that those retiring at 55 live for about 6 or 7 years more. I want diversity, independence, and individuality in my life. I am so glad I discovered your site. She and her husband love it, on the other hand, I live with my handicapped husband on a small farm.

I raise my own chickens and vegies. I still teach at the local Jr. Her HOA fees are out of site and she spent over , dollars more for her villa than our farm is worth. It seems like not a very good trade for the so-called activities. But she loves her card games and donut Sundays.

All I know is that I could not grow my gardens, or hear my rooster, Caesar, crow in the morning, or ride my horse. To each his own. Many communities have strict rules about what you can and cannot do on your property.

I like to look out my window and see people jogging, riding bikes, playing with their kids, actually using the swimming pool and sports equipment, and talking about LIVING, not DYING. Makes a big difference in my outlook and vitality.

Thank you for sharing your experiences. Your comments are similar to several others I have received. My impression is that the people who do best in them are the ones who closely match the demographics of the people who already live there. The click hijacked my disability assigned parking on Thanksgiving and acted as if they had every right to use it!!

I called police! Civil Rights investigator forced parking company to issue violation but the buddy click and HOA still act like I overreacted on a holiday for their buddy in my bldg?! Tired of nosey women ambushing me at my car with nosey questions! I told my financial advisor he won but he feels bad because my reno is so nice!!

Nosey jealous gossiping male neighbor told me he heard allergies got my nice Penthouse floor approved so all of them can get Drs statements! HOW INSULTING HE WAS WRONG and I put him in his place!!

yes renos have started!!! These people assume I want dogs on me and it aggravating! Now I stand back until they get the dog away from me!! They use dog walking to be nosey as well. ago and regret it. Stop trying to manage my life!! Women seem to be of one mindset here — cooking for their husbands and going to activities to eat, drink and gain weight ugh.

Very gossipy with too much time of their hands. My husband and I are too independent for a place like this. We would also prefer to do our own yard work instead of the half-assed job we get from their landscaper. I am actively looking for a house as I type this, although we probably will not make the move until next year.

Thank you for sharing your experience. I think you should be able to create the retirement YOU want, as opposed to the retirement that activity planners want you to have. That sort of thing is fine for some people, but certainly not everyone.

Thanks for your kind words, Dave and for creating this forum. I appreciate your giving me a chance to vent my thoughts and feelings! Hi Fiona, Boy, is it good to read your words!

We have now gotten snubbed and treated like we are dirt.. Groups of women tend to be difficult to begin with, and add the isolation, the boredom, the overwhelmingly sedentary nature of these women, and there are too many idle hands and wicked tongues around here.

The cliquishness and gossip are appalling. This place is literally sucking the will to live out of me. on Tuesday, Aug. The public will be able to ask the project team questions. Vice Chairman Michael Schell said the town manager will work with the project's architect and owners' project manager to present an updated cost analysis.

The second meeting — planned for p. on Tuesday, Sept. A press release from the town says "citizen prepared presentations" will be allowed and should be emailed to Cathy Lewis at clewis chatham-ma.

gov by 4 p. People who cannot attend or prefer to submit written questions or comments may email communityforum chatham-ma. gov or submit them through the Community Voice portal on the town's website www. on Monday, Sept. Both meetings will be held in the large meeting room on the lower level of the Town Office Annex, George Ryder Road.

Actionable — Actions can be taken to implement the recommendation;. Feasible — The delegates and ICAA have the resources to implement the recommendation;.

Practical — The recommendation can be used by professionals and organizations;. Universal — The recommendation will apply to many organizations, for the betterment of all. As a think tank of thought leaders representing many organizations, the issues and ideas generated during the ICAA Forum are the first step in identifying actions that can be taken to enable the active-aging industry to best serve the well-being of their current and future clients.

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Originally Posted by seeriously. Yes regrets. Enough that after eight years we are now ages 69 and 72 we are moving out at the end of May and building a home in an all-ages subdivision in another part of the country.

My experiences.. no one wants to really know you. There's no girlfriending going on. They just expect you to show up for scheduled activities and keep conversations shallow, usually over cards or puzzles. We are, however, leaving behind two couples, friends who I hope will come visit us.

What connects us are our similar political views and as well as a writing group. Otherwise, it's the same old talk about aches and pains, the weather, and their dogs.

I'm looking forward to hearing children again and to meeting vibrant older people, people capable of making plans beyond the gates, outside of the clubhouse, people who aren't bingo oriented. I did not encounter any cliques, they're probably there, I just don't notice because I don't care.

I feel that we've accelerated the aging process by living here. We're constantly looking at our future, way too aware of our mortality. Ambulances are commonplace, and I feel like I'm in a holding facility, god's waiting room so to speak.

We're going to a real house in a real neighborhood and I won't look back when we leave here. Good luck, OP. Last edited by Marble cake; at AM.. Rumann Koch. Originally Posted by fallstaff. I am afraid of the cliques and "Insiders" mentality.

Expectations to joins groups etc etc etc. NO WAY! Let's face it, in my old age all the old people I will be living with will be mostly the same people I went to school with, lived in a barracks with, had to work with or for over the years.

I found too many of them quite disagreeable then. I don't imagine they've changed much. Originally Posted by JMD I get that. I'm more turned off by the childish, ignorant gossip that permeates much of the community.

But given that the variety of activities was a huge selling point for the community, it's a shame the gossipy, cliquish aspect of many of the clubs and groups makes getting involved uncomfortable.

Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Additional giveaways are planned. Detailed information about all U. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data. Links to join the meetings remotely will be available in the agendas posted to www.

in West Chatham before voters again, after the plan narrowly failed twice at the May 6 town meeting. During the meeting, residents will reconsider articles related to a new Center for Active Living, including a proposal to convert the current Council on Aging building on Stony Hill Road into housing.

Chairman Cory Metters has recused himself from deliberation on the actual project due to a conflict of interest. He previously told the Times he owns a business at Main St. in Chatham, directly across the street from the proposed project, and felt it appropriate to step aside.

Supporters say the current Council on Aging building is aging and inadequate and costs for a new building will continue to rise, while opponents say the plan is too expensive and shows little compromise.

Two separate votes were held. While the proposal got a majority of support both times, it did not garner two-thirds of the vote as required.

The first attempt to pass the article regarding the new Center for Active Living failed, with supporting and opposing — one vote short of a two-thirds majority.

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